Struggles

I haven’t posted in a couple of weeks.  I have been in a deep, dark place.  A place that I normally choose not to visit.  I  have been to the Isle of Sadness.  Took a boat across the Sea of Depression to the Village of Anger.  It was a crazy trip.

How can I possibly post when I am the Queen of Sunny Days?

Last night,  I arrive home at almost 10pm.  I didn’t eat dinner because I was too tired to want to chew food.  I fell into bed in my clothes….meandered up around 2am and got out of them,  but still…..the overwhelmingness (yes that is a real word) of “stuff” is starting to get to me.  I am distancing myself from people.  I have nothing to give these days.  I feel like I am standing at the bottom of a well, looking up.  I can see the light above me, but I can’t figure out a way to climb out and no one is around to throw me a rope.

and YES, I know my well looks like I am being assisted by men in a village in Nairobi, but it was the only well with a rope shot I could find 🙂  Cut me some slack people.

I decided to post during a break in my work schedule because I needed to write it down.  Get it out.  Release the Krakken!   I am tired.  Tired girls need love too.  Meh.

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About Diana F

California girl who never imagines she would decide to start her life all over again at this stage of her life but I just know it's going to be epic.
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5 Responses to Struggles

  1. Grace says:

    😦
    Although your post made me chuckle. You always put a smile to my face when I read your posts. Feel better. wish there was something i could do, like throw you a rope

  2. Brenda says:

    When you have nothing left to give, that is when you ASK and ACCEPT strength from others. We don’t love you for what you give to us; we just love you!

    • Diana B says:

      I hear you and I know you mean it….but as irrational as it sounds, I can’t feel any of that right now. It makes no sense. I accept that I am being irrational. I have lost quite a few friends now that I can’t pay for their night out. Interesting. I think maybe I am angry with myself for my poor judgment, and it’s become “easier” to be alone then to get my feelings hurt. My feelings are right there….right on the outside….it’s a tough time.

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