Job Titles

Hello sweet faces. I’m back.  Somewhat censored, but back.  Ah the trials and tribulations a writer must endure to be free to express himself, or herself in my case.

As some of you know, I am no longer writing about my mother, my father, my sisters, their kids or my mom’s illness.  If you know the story, great. If you don’t, you never will.

On with the show!

February is a big month for me.  What a difference a year makes, and this month I will experience a loss and a gain.

EMPTY NESTER.  This will be my new title.  Since the age of 21, I have lived with a child under my roof.  When Brian moved out, I cried for two weeks.  His room still smelled like him.  The leftovers began to pile up.  I didn’t know how to cook for one kid less.  I kept waiting to hear his truck pull up and it didn’t.  I would watch TV shows and miss hearing his maniacal laugh.  It was torture, but I got through it and I had Kaitlin to help ease me into it.

Now it’s her turn.  Kaitlin will be moving out this month.  No more girl TV nights. No more frozen yogurt runs at 8pm.  No more.  It’s time, and while I am so happy that she is making this step away from me, I will be sad to see her go. But it’s time.

“”Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself. They come through you, but not from you.
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may house their bodies, but not souls.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The Archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness; for even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.” -Kahlil Gibran

WORLDS GREATEST GIRLFRIEND.  This will be my other new title.  Rick is coming to live with me.  I couldn’t be happier about it.  I’m so excited to create a home and a life together.  Coming home to the smile that melts my heart.  Making his coffee in the morning.  Being able to share our days in person, and not having to miss him immensely, like I do now when we are apart.  I miss his laugh, and I miss his smell, and he is home to me.  It’s time.

“I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep. ”

Pablo Neruda

I know no other way.  To love my child enough to let her go.  To love my man enough to want him to stay.  Jobs I HIGHLY recommend. ~

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About Diana F

California girl who never imagines she would decide to start her life all over again at this stage of her life but I just know it's going to be epic.
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